What Will My Relationship with My Parents Be like When I Am in College?

With Hanna Seymour | AIRED 2018

A lot of freshmen in college experience a shift in their relationship with their parents. Even if you still live at home, college inevitably gives you more freedom and independence than experienced in a typical high school. Sometimes the shift in the relationship is for the better, but not always. Hanna teaches us how to navigate this and ensures that it is very normal for a lot of new students.

Transcript

Hanna Seymour: College is the time to start pursuing your parents in an adult friendship sort of way. Now, your parents are never just going to be your best friends. They’re always going to be mom and dad. They’re always going to be your parents. You’re always going to be their baby. But I can’t encourage you enough to start pursuing your parents like you would a friend. So, when they call, or when you call home, maybe your folks don’t call you. What would it look like for you to set a time once a week, you know, “Sundays at 2:00 p.m., I’m going to call mom and dad.”

And if you’ve got both your mom and dad, talk to both of them. I made the mistake of calling home and only talking to my mom. My dad would answer the phone and I’d say, “Hey, dad, how are you? Can I talk to mom?” And it took my dad’s best friend calling me and saying, “Hanna, you’re hurting your dad’s feelings. When you call home, he wants to talk to you and know what’s going on in your life.” So, I mean, I felt sick. I did not mean to just be pushing my dad to the side. And so the lesson there for me was, okay, my dad wants to be my friend. My mom wants to be my friend. It’s time to start pursuing them in that way. Asking them about them. “What’s God teaching you? What’s going on in your life right now?”

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